Monday, June 20, 2016

Once Upon a Time Rant

Hey guys,
while I'm waist-deep in writers' block I decided to post on here and rant about a TV show I watch - well, now used to watch - called Once Upon a Time. You probably won't know what I'm talking about unless you've seen the show (and if you're in the middle of it, spoilers ahead). 

Okay, so this show is about fairy tale characters. You know, Snow White, Cinderella, Peter Pan, the typical Disney-type things you grew up with as a kid. But there's a twist where the Evil Queen banishes all the characters to our realm, specifically to a town called Storybrooke.

The Evil Queen believes she's won now, as she's taken away all the characters' happiness. But there is a savior who's supposed to bring the characters home - Emma Swan, daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming.

Anyway, so season one is great. It revolves around Emma finding her long lost son named Henry, who has been adopted by the Evil Queen (currently Regina Mills). Through reading Henry finds out the truth about Storybrooke and tries to get Emma to believe. Season one is well-paced and thought out, but then it abruptly ends with the curse being broken.

And because of this, season 2 revolves around magic being in Storybrooke (hence the image above). I was really disappointed in season one's ending as there was practically no build-up to Storybrooke suddenly being free, but I just rolled with it. Couldn't get much worse, could it?
Wow I was wrong.
Season two is when Captain Hook comes in. And since he becomes a very major character later on I kind of have to talk about him (despite that makes no sense because I mean, Captain Hook, of all characters. He becomes bigger than Cinderella). I really loved him, they did a nice spin on his story and how he looks. That was the one thing I liked about OUAT, they presented the characters as "everything told about them was a lie. Here's the truth."

This is him. Gorgeous man.

He's a cocky guy (despite losing fights regularly to a teenager, aka Peter Pan), and flirts with Emma regularly, as he does with most women. He kind of plays two side, as he's selfish and only does what will keep him from dying. I liked the selfishness and thought it made his ways made him a cool villain.
In fact, OUAT had a lot of cool villains. But they find a way to screw every single one of those villains up. 
Season two was a bit of a blur. I know that Emma and a few others (or just Snow) get stuck in the Enchanted Forest (their home) and have to go back home. Then late season two, Henry's kidnapped by the Lost Boys, Peter Pan's group. Everything was going fairly well until late season two/early season three.
I guess I should focus on that part, then. This was when everything went downhill.
Hook's still a bit villain-like, but for some reason hangs around the main group (Emma, Snow, Henry, Charming, Regina). I figured this was simply because he liked Emma, but it'd be out of character for him to grow attached to one girl. With his character, he'd jump from woman to woman.
But then his eyes got set on Emma and he now stopped being selfish and began doing everything for her. Which sounds like a decent transition, but think about it for a moment.
Captain Hook. Aka this man.

Scum of Neverland, villain through and through, a really minor Disney villain (I mean, when you hear "Disney villain" you think the Evil Queen, Maleficent, etcetera. Hook isn't one of the characters to come to mind), is paired up...with the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming.
Not to mention she's the savior of Storybrooke, who isn't even doing her job of bringing everyone to the Enchanted Forest. That whole thing's been forgotten about. To this day she still hasn't fulfilled the prophecy and seems to have no intent to.
So anyway. Like I said, Captain Hook gets paired with Emma Swan? The pairing makes absolutely zero sense. None at all.
She honestly should have stayed with Graham. He was the Huntsman - essentially the police of the Enchanted Forest - and Emma's a type of police person, too. That at least made sense. Plus, they worked together as sheriffs in season one.

They killed Graham off in season one. And he hasn't even been mentioned since then. You could probably go up to Emma Swan - who was partners with this man - and mention Graham and she'd say, "who?"
So yeah. Captain Swan is a bad pairing (that's their ship name by the way).
So as I said before, there was a whole prophecy about how Emma would free the fairy tale characters from the curse, and she did succeed in doing that, even if it was unintentionally. But there was a whole second part to it that Rumplestiltskin (my favorite character) mentioned that NO ONE seems to remember: "and then the battle between good and evil can finally begin!"

Yeah, there is no battle between good and evil. The show doesn't even follow its own plot.
As if that's not bad enough, the one person who should be encouraging this battle - the Evil Queen herself - doesn't do anything, either. In fact, they make her become a good guy.

Yep. You've seen the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, right? You know how creepy and villainous this queen is? How she wanted to murder a 14-year-old girl simply because she thought the girl was too pretty? And if you've seen OUAT, you know just how terrible the queen was. "Evil" is literally in her name.
And they make her into a hero.
Most of the fandom is happy for Regina, glad she's moved on from her ideas of revenge, but it doesn't suit her character at all. Regina Mills is the Evil Queen. The Evil Queen doesn't become nice. She's dark and twisted and needs to stay that way. But Once Upon a Time likes to make everything sunshine and rainbows, going as far as to even completely destroy a decent character.
And when they do try to add "dark" themes or make villains, boy do they mess up.
I mentioned before how the show began going downhill. Season three/season four was already pretty bad, but season five is just when it hit rock bottom.
So season four ends with Rumple dying (that enough pissed me off) and the Dark One spirit inside him is unleashed and flies around Storybrooke. And it has to choose a host.
Rather than give us our Evil Queen back (Heaven forbid we bring someone back that everyone loved) or go for someone that actually makes sense, guess who the spirit possesses?

Emma freaking Swan.
The savior, the hero with the light magic, the single character who should be the least evil, suddenly is in the most anticlimactic way. The writers forced her to be evil in a last minute attempt to get more views, She was never evil before (she acted sort of like it but she was basically a wannabe monster; basically the edgy kids you see in school who are all like "no one understands me, I'm lost and broken"). 
And now they're shoving this god-awful plot down our throat.

And here you see the worst villain of all time. Not in sense of evilness, but in character.

So Emma goes around terrorizing people and overall just making me want to leap through the screen and punch her (I spent all of 5a praying for her death), hurting those she loved so much and trying to start all her plans. Which to be honest, I can't even remember what her plans were. Most of season 5 I spent angry.
As if that's not enough, goody-two shoes Captain Hook - who's become a huge wimp and pretty much unbearable now - is apparently the second Dark One. Yep, there's two. And since everyone got amnesia for the tenth time, nobody knew about this. But the minute Hook find out, he acts just like Emma with the whole edgy thing. Saying things like "I feel...reborn".
Hook. You were fine five minutes ago. How stupid would you feel if it turned out they were just messing with you?

So then Hook becomes all emo and dark all out of nowhere, and becomes extremely annoying. In fact, he may be worse than Dark Swan (Emma as the Dark One).
Not only that, he tries to act like Rumplestiltskin. Same cheerful-yet-dark personality, same movements (the significant hand gestures Rumple is well-known for) and even calling people "dearie".

Comparison of the two as Dark Ones. Except one of them isn't trash.

So that just pissed me off even further, since this lowly, wimpy pirate was trying to act like my favorite character.
Then came the season 5 ending. Hook got a sudden change of heart since, you know, the plot needed to move forward. Hook dies, Rumple becomes the Dark One again (plot twist, despite he's like a thousand years old somehow he didn't die. Not that I'm complaining) and guess what Emma's about to do?
"Hey guys, let's go to Hell and find Hook."
This girl is so clingy to this emo pirate that she wants to go to Hell to find him. Dude, death has been calling this guy for a long time (he, too, is super duper old) you need to learn when to let go. Especially since he's the worst possible boyfriend because as I said before, the two together make no sense.
So Emma drags along Snow White (who has a newborn baby but left him to go find this stupid dead pirate), Prince Charming, Regina Mills (who shouldn't even care about all this), Henry Mills (who is a thirteen-year-old kid and shouldn't be going to Hell), and about forty other people. 
All of this for a pirate who is not a good guy, tried to kill all of them, and ultimately got what he deserved in the end (and you'll watch and see the Hell they have isn't even a really bad place). All because Emma Swan can't let go, yet somehow they're seen as such a great couple.
Now the show is basically revolved around the selfishness of Captain Swan, marking the complete end of how the show used to be. Because now it centers around these two.

They're so selfish they even get to change the show's title

In the meantime, the ship Rumbelle (Rumple/Belle from Beauty and the Beast) is in a never-ending cycle of misery. They're that one annoying couple from school that breaks up, gets back together, breaks up, gets back together, and one minute they hate each other and want each other to die and the next minute they love each other and would do anything for each other (although it's pretty one-sided, ironically, Rumple's the selfless one and Belle's the "I hope you die" one). 
So while Captain Swan is dragging everyone through their crap, Belle can't decide whether she loves Rumple or wants to never see him again. 

From what I remember, they got married a few episodes earlier (bottom pic) and then before the first part of the season was over she was forcing him to leave.

And for some reason the writers think we enjoy these cliche over-used plotlines.
I could talk about so much more but I've said way too much already. Just watch the show for yourself, you'll see what I'm talking about.
Season six comes in September but I'm not watching it. I'm done with this show, it's annoyed me and frustrated me far too much.



  1. Wow, what a plot.
    People said OUAT was good but I didn't watch it because heck I don't even care about it. I mean, the ad! Just what?
    Reading this even made my head spin. Wow. The plot.

  2. Minicooper42 (my user changed to jammer00z3d for some reason)September 25, 2016 at 12:07 PM

    Hey, GreatShot! Long time no see, eh? I sort of quit blogging unfortunately if you couldn't tell. I'm more active on the Warrior Cats Forums XD. I have made it quite a long way since when I last said hello, being in 8th grade now with all A's in 6th and 7th. It's cool to see you're still active and running. I'm going to send you a friend request on Animal Jam later (because I think you either unfriended me because you were confused on my new username which changed for no plausible reason other than the fact that I was sent a Jam-A-Gram by the one and only fman. So my theory with him is that the Jam-A-Grams don't actually delete your account but rather change your user.

    Minicooper42 (jammer00z3d)

    1. I haven't seen you in forever, I'm glad you're back! I don't play Animal Jam much more, unfortunately, but I'm sometimes on here.

      Glad you're getting A's! I'm very lazy so I always get B's, haha. Hope you manage to keep it up :)

      Nice seeing you again though, hope we can talk more soon.


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